Supporting Kids with Separation Anxiety

Separation anxiety is a common challenge for many children, especially when starting school, attending daycare, or spending time away from a parent or primary caregiver. Children experiencing separation anxiety may feel intense worry or fear, and this can show up as clinginess, tears, stomachaches, or resistance to being apart. While it can be stressful for both the child and parent, separation anxiety is developmentally normal and can be addressed with empathy, preparation, and consistent support.

Children with separation anxiety may worry that something bad will happen to their parent while they are apart, or that they themselves will be hurt. Even when they know the separation is temporary and safe, these feelings can feel very real and overwhelming. Some children may cry, cling, or resist transitions, while others experience physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches, or nausea.

PREPARE YOUR CHILD FOR WHAT TO EXPECT 

One of the best ways to ease separation anxiety is to make sure your child knows what will happen. Talk about the routine in advance, visit the playground or classroom, read books about school, and explain the drop-off process. Children feel more secure when there are no surprises. Books such as The Kissing Hand and The Invisible String are wonderful tools to teach that they are still connected to you even when apart.

CREATE GOODBYE RITUALS

Special goodbye routines can make transitions easier. This might be a short song, a phrase like, “Goodbye for now, hello again later!”, or a gesture such as kissing the palm of your child’s hand, inspired by The Kissing Hand. Some children find comfort in wearing a special bracelet, carrying a token, a small object with your scent, or a picture of the family. Rituals provide reassurance and a consistent cue that separation is safe.

BREAK TASKS INTO MANAGEABLE STEPS 

Using small, structured steps can help children navigate transitions. For example, adapt a concept like “3 Special Steps” from Special Agent Oso: Step one – get in the car; Step two – walk into class; Step three – greet the teacher and start your day. Giving your child manageable, sequential tasks helps them focus and feel successful, even during stressful transitions.

SUPPORT CONFIDENCE AT DROP-OFF 

Children pick up on parent emotions, so staying calm, positive, and confident during drop-off is key. Encourage your child to walk into the classroom on their own, and avoid lingering in the doorway. Brief hugs, kisses, or a silly handshake signal love and safety, then let them move on to their day. Transition activities—like a small job or privilege in the classroom—can also give children something to focus on and make the separation easier.

CELEBRATE SUCCESS AND EFFORT

Praise and reward small successes, whether through verbal encouragement, stickers, or small treats. Recognition of effort helps children feel proud and builds confidence, reinforcing that they can handle separation even if it feels hard at first.

For many children, separation anxiety decreases naturally with practice, reassurance, and consistent routines. However, if anxiety is severe, persistent, or interfering with school, friendships, or daily life, it may be helpful to work with a child therapist. Professional guidance can provide personalized strategies, emotional support, and tools to help children gradually feel more comfortable being apart from their parents.

Separation anxiety can be challenging, but it also provides an opportunity for children to develop resilience, coping skills, and confidence. With preparation, empathy, and consistent support, parents can help their child navigate these early worries and build independence while knowing they are loved and secure.